You know, sometimes being a Christian can really stop me in my tracks. I was sitting in a Bible Study tonight (oh, wait - y'all reading this are in the study)...
Anyways, I'm sitting there not saying much. Not sure why, but there are many times when I am in church or in Bible Study and I am frozen. Not like that "frozen ice cube" I spoke about in my last post regarding Florida - just frozen in deep thought; total concentration; feeling like I am at work and being all analytical in the way I am taking in all the information that is being shared by Tom and the others at the study. My mind tended to wander to all the opportunities I have missed to spread the word of God and for some of the impatience I have been showing lately at work as the hours continue to pile up. As we were discussing "works", I knew my attitude at work wasn't all that great recently and if I am going to be a witness for God, why would anyone want to say "I want what he has" if I have a crappy attitude? I just happened to pull out one of Billy Graham's weekly email devotionals and (like Emeril Lagasse would say) BAM! ...
1 Peter 3:15-16 "In your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander."
So there you go - who is going to ask me where my hope comes from if I am being "weak". If I continue to give the most attention to satisfying my own appetite, I am going to become a person that no one really wants to "know". If nobody wants to know what makes me tick, I am losing those opportunities to talk about God. In this day and age, I can't really bring up God in the work place on my own. I CAN bring it up if someone asks me a question. So why haven't I been making people ask me the question?
I truly believe that all of this starts with the heart. Like we said at Bible Study (this is where people can verify if I was paying attention) anybody can ramble on in words, but if Christ really isn't in our hearts, we are not going to feel badly if we're not raising Him up, being kind to others, etc.
For me, I feel like my heart sometimes needs a jump start (perhaps that is why I get heart palpitations, or maybe it's too much caffeine)...but seriously, I've got room for improvement. I don't think it's the person preaching the words of God that are the most effective at times - it's a very important part of being a Christian - we need great preachers, but how are we acting when we're outside our 1-hour comfort zone (church). Are we as patient with the non-believers? Are we giving them a REASON to ask why we ARE so patient, or are we making those people think that we're no different from everybody else as believers?
Do you think God judges us on the good that we have left undone? Does this get compared to the evil that we have done?
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1 comment:
I hesitated at first to leave a comment, considering I'm one of those useless preachers you were talking about, but then I realized how important I really was - so I will speak.
You are talking about something that my mind is working on for Sunday's sermon. Dorcas died. Her death left such a gaping hole in their church that they put her body in an upstairs room (against every Jewish tradition) and prayed for a miracle. Her life was so valuable to the church that they basically said, "We need her back, at all costs!" This is so challenging. Would my death leave such a hole? That's what you seem to be talking about - the value we bring to the Kingdom.
But what do I know - I'm just a stupid preacher boy.
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